From Alan - LegendsWhat happens when two teams fighting for the National League pennant are so evenly matched that they were 11-11 this season against each other? Well, if you said “A seven game series” you’d be wrong.
Instead the Lonesome Dove Legends used solid pitching and virtually every bizarre break imaginable to sweep the Philly Smackdown and advance to the BYOF World Series.
“Just when you think you’ve seen everything, you run into a series like this” said 80 year old veteran Roger Clemens, safely tucked into his wheelchair with a warm blanket tucked over his geriatric legs. “I’m just glad the breaks went our way this time.”
The Legends grabbed the momentum quickly, as Johan Santana retired the Smackdown in order and saw his team score three runs in the bottom half. Chase Utley singled, Barry Bonds walked and Albert Pujols loaded the bases on an infield single off Jake Peavy. The big righty then whiffed Carlos Guillen and looked like he might escape the inning cheaply when Carlos Beltran plated a run on a sac fly.
But then Jose Guillen singled in Bonds before Ryan Doumit made it 3-0 with an RBI double.
Santana worked out of trouble for most of the day before giving up a two run homer to Matt Holliday in the 6th. But the Lonesome Dove bullpen made the lead stand up and the Legends won the first game, 5-3. Brian Fuentes calmed a big rally in the 8th and Jose Valverde notched his only save of the series.
Game two was when things really started getting weird. Roy Halladay fell behind crafty righthander Greg Maddux 1-0 in the second inning when Garrett Anderson’s ground out plated Jorge Posada, who had more hits this series than a smutty website gets in a month.
But in the fourth inning the Legends plated all the runs Halladay would need. Utley again started the carnage with a single and Bonds walked. Pujols doubled to tie the game and Maddux loaded the bases by intentionally walking Carlos Guillen. But the tactic backfired when Beltran cleared the bases with a double to the wall in left center for a 4-1 lead. It was one of only two hits would have in 14 at bats in the series.
“I just wasn’t seeing the ball well,” said Beltran. “You have to give their pitchers credit. They made us reach for a lot of bad balls. Thankfully, I was able to get the double right there. If you can’t hit a lot, you need a hit at the perfect time.”
Halladay wiggled out of jam after jam until the sixth inning. Posada singled to start the inning (his third in the game and sixth in a row to that point) and went to third when Chad Tracy hit a ball that looked catchable, but carried over Bonds’ head for a double.
“I lost it in the sun, you b!tches!” yelled Bonds when asked about it after the game. “None of you #$#*s know a #$*#ing thing about baseball. Or about being a man, you queers! Get your dirty #$#*$s away from my leather chair and get out of this locker room!!!”
Posada scored on another Anderson ground out and Dustin Pedroia made it 4-3 with a sac fly. But Halladay retired Mark Loretta to end the carnage. The Legend bullpen made the lead stand up. Jamie Walker induced a rally-killing double play in the 8th inning and Pat Neshek got the final four outs for a save.
So far the weirdness had been mild. But game three could just as well been played in the Twilight Zone as Wrigley Field. The teams traded runs in the early going in fairly normal ways (Posada’s eight consecutive hit was a solo homer over the ivy and Beltran’s final hit of the series was an RBI single).
In the sixth the Smackdown touched up Cole Hamels for run on a Posada single (he had been retired in the 4th inning to break the amazing string). Then the weirdness began to filter into the Friendly Confines.
In the bottom of the 7th, Francisco Rodriguez allowed Kenny Lofton to single. Then the aging speedster thieved second base and took third on an overthrow by Pudge Rodriguez. But Krod didn’t ask him to stop there, promptly balking him home one pitch later.
“I guess I did get into his head,” said Lofton. “You don’t think that’s going to work with a veteran like Krod, so you’ve got to like it when you catch a break like that.”
But the joy of the home fans wouldn’t last long as the Legends struck for three runs in the 8th and nine more in the 9th. Ryan Raburn led off the 8th with a single off Jared Burton and stole second base an out later and went to third on a two out balk. Burton walked Beltran and exited the game for Chris Schroder. Doumit came on to hit for Jose Guillen and loaded the bases with a walk. Jorge Valendia tied the game with a pinch single down the right field line. Then Pudge followed with an RBI single that plated Doumit.
“The balls just seemed to fall for us, all series” said Raburn, who had three hits and scored three runs despite coming into the game in the 8th inning. “Some days are like that. And the hottest team usually wins in the playoffs.”
Lonesome Dove’s big 9th inning was propelled by Doumit’s grand slam and Raburn’s two run homer. Holliday answered with a two run homer of his own in the bottom of the frame but it wasn’t enough. The Legends won 13-5 in a game that they trailed entering the 8th inning.
Peavy came back on short rest to start game 4, facing Clemens, who invented the game of baseball when his fellow Puritans came ashore near Boston in 1620.
Utley greeted Peavy by slamming his second pitch of the game over the wall in right.
“I was ahead 1-0 and looking fastball,” said the reserved second baseman. “Jake is a great pitcher and you usually don’t get a lot of pitches to drive off him. But I got lucky and the ball went out.”
Clemens made the lead stand up, scattering three hits and a walk in seven strong innings, and apparently chugging Geritol between innings like most players quaff Gatorade.
The game was in the balance in the bottom of the sixth when Peavy singled with one out. Lofton singled him to second and the fans started making some serious noise. Clemens called time, turned his hearing aid down and flipped off the hostile crowd.
Then he hung a slider that Scott Hatteberg scorched up the middle. But Utley was shaded that way and turned the liner into a backbreaking double play, catching and stepping on second in the same moment.
“When things go your way, they go your way,” said Utley.
Then in the 8th, the Legends again harnessed the power of bizarre to mount a big rally.
Edgar Renteria singled and stole second base off Justin Germano. He went to third on a fly out before Peter Moylan came on in relief. Doumit drew a walk before Burton came on to relieve Moylan. Burton loaded the bases by walking Utley and forced in a run by walking Bonds.
With the bases loaded and down 2-0, Burton whiffed Pujols but Posada missed the ball, allowing Doumit to score on the K-PB. Since Pujols was out on the strikeout, Burton intentionally walked 1st round hero Timo Perez to reload the bases. Schroder came on and gave up a two run single to Raburn, who had been a defensive replacement earlier.
Down 5-0 the Smackdown got a leadoff homer in the bottom of the 9th from Anderson. And though they had the tying run in the on deck circle, Neshek closed out the 5-1 clincher by fanning Tracy.
“When you see so many freakish things happen to a great team, you have to feel sorry that they are so snakebit,” said Carlos Guillen. “But we knew from the regular season that Philly could run off four wins in a real hurry. So we weren’t going to give them any chances to get back into this thing. We respect them and they surely deserved a better fate than this.”
He was right. Thanks to Noel for playing. His team could easily have swept mine if he’d gotten half the breaks I did. He will be back with a strong team next year and I hope I fare as well the next time we cross swords. But I know I won’t get breaks like this again for a LONG time.
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